Dear Diary (from May 18th, 2007)

How was he? After he left my house yesternight, after three days of being stucked together in my high-humidity temperature room, just being stucked together with nothing else to do, nothing we made was special, but it always becomes so special just because we’re together. I was just left with tons of beautiful memories to look back again whenever I feel alone. I day dream. I reminisce. I smile. I know I will never express everything within just a while. Within that while, I was with him, and everything in that span of time, the littlest smiles, tears and whispers, all was compressed in all that I am.

I want to write it all pouring everything of me out in a paper. If I cannot say it completely in words, at least I tried to find the right words to tell how much I love him.

I cry

I laugh

I argue

I comfort

I frown

I smile

I am sad

I am happy

I am pissed

I am pleased

I want to die

I want to live

And there’s just too many more…

Everything is attached in this word called “Love”.

And when I love, he will have it all, all to himself. He can do whatever he wish with it and only because I love him.

________________________________________________________________________________________

There’s too many things that had happened. If I could only go back in those hours I would, just to hold hands with him and dream, and know in this world of billion people, there’s one who sees your soul through your eyes, one who feels exactly the way you does just by the touch of his hands. And when you are in that state, you never want to be anywhere else. You feel the whole world has stopped turning, and you know by that moment, it would be a treasure to embrace forever.